By Shane Haffey and Jay Wegter
Christ’s Headship is central to the doctrine of the church.
For fruitfulness and for spiritual growth the members of Christ’s Body must be continuously animated by the headship of Christ (Eph 4:14-16). “. . . and not holding fast to the head, from whom the entire body, being supplied and held together by the joints and ligaments, grows with a growth which is from God” (Col 2:19). “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5). Christ as Redeemer and Lord not only directs, corrects, and chastens but also nourishes, rewards, balances, fits, and honors the Body in all its variegated expressions (1 Cor 12:7). Thus, the goal of our ecclesiology is to create a complete church environment in which the disciple-making thrust of the Great Commission is central. If we are subject to God’s Word, it would be unthinkable for it to be any other way.
Through our obedience to the Great Commission Christ showcases His absolute supremacy in His church. This would likely be met with a resounding ‘amen’. However, it gets sticky when we face the reality that this cannot happen unless discipleship is first flourishing in the home. Christ’s supremacy goes far beyond Sunday mornings and church programs, His divine influence includes every area of life. Hence, Christ’s preeminence in our ecclesiology means that the headship of fathers in the home is non-negotiable. For Christ to exert His supremacy as Head of the Church, He must have supremacy as Head of the family (1 Cor 11:3). Thus, the ecclesiology of a church ought to demonstrate an understanding of the church’s ‘filial DNA’. Filial means what is befitting of a son or daughter. Our sonship in Christ ought to be mirrored in our spiritual parenting of our children. We ought to ask, ‘is our church made up of Christ-centered families in which fathers are shepherding their families’? Rather than merely, ‘is the church relevant for the family’? Indeed, a church is a family of families. It is a corporate family made up of smaller individual families. Both the church and the family are created to be cohesive units vivified and ruled by Christ.
The idea that the church is a family of families is not meant to be an exhaustive ontological statement. For many church members will be unmarried or will have only unsaved family members. What is meant by family of families is that predominantly, the church culture and with its activities is made up of Christ-centered families.
Consider that the soul of a Christian family is patterned after the Holy Trinity. Though equal in essence and purpose, there is a distinct division of labor in the Godhead. The Father sends the Son to accomplish the work of atonement (Jn 5:17; 6:38-40; 10:10-18; 17:4). And the Spirit is sent by the Father and the Son to convict, call, regenerate, sanctify, and indwell (Jn 16:8-14). Hence, as each member of the Godhead has a distinct role in redemption, so also do the members of a family have God-given roles (1 Cor 11:3-16; 1 Tim 2:11-15).
God created us in His own image and likeness that we might know Him and commune with Him to reflect His virtues in our relationships. Adam was called God’s “firstborn son”—the first ‘son’ of creation (Lk 3:38). God commanded Adam regarding the care of the Garden. Adam was to instruct his wife and his progeny in the ‘rules of the Garden’ (Gen 2:16-17). In like manner an earthly father is commanded to establish the ‘rule’ of the family. He is the chief boundary-maker. The father is to lead, teach, establish principles, and boundaries and see to it that they are honored. He is to impose order, making clear what is permissible and what is not permissible. “God made men to rule, rule, rule” in a productive representative rulership—bringing order in the world in His stead. i Man’s calling to exercise fruitful dominion cannot be separated from raising up God-fearing communities. This patriarchal authority is not domineering but is holy, loving, servant headship. A father’s headship is a clear declaration that humans were created to be ‘bounded creatures’. ii God’s good and wise commands are for our protection and for our flourishing. Thus, earthly fathers who faithfully instruct their families are God’s agents for understanding the purpose of human existence. For this indeed is a moral universe in which the created moral order is at the heart of our biblical cosmology (Acts 17:24-31).
The Great Commission begins at home; fathers are the vanguard for fulfilling Christ’s mandate of making disciples.
The connection we are not to miss is that the father’s rule over his family is God’s plan for creating a culture of discipleship. Discipleship at its core is instruction in obedience. “. . .teaching them to observe all that I commanded you” (Mt 28:20a). It is education through teaching, leading, chastening, protecting, and nourishing. An obedient husband and father ‘imitates God’ when he embraces his role as loving head of his family (Eph 5:1). For in his ongoing action of loving, disciplining, and instructing, he typifies God the Father’s role in the ordered plan of salvation. The father’s rule of his family on earth is therefore a reflected beam of God’s trinitarian glory. For the husband is “the glory of God” in ways that the wife is not. “… he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man” (1 Cor 11:7b). The godly family is an icon of the Holy Trinity in the following ways: it exhibits headship, division of labor, submission, and sacrificial love. Correspondingly, the qualities which define God the Father’s relationship to the Son are beautifully summarized in the word, ‘sent’. The Son is sent, He is ‘on mission’. God is unfolding His redemptive plot through the totality of work He has given to His Son. For His Son is Logos (Creator), Lawgiver (Covenant-maker), Lamb (Redeemer), and Lion(Judge). So also, dads are to be ‘on mission’ as disciplers. What if dads drop the ball? Michael Foster warns of the consequences, God’s order in the world is upheld in societies by the dominion work of fathers. Children must be taught by the father’s instruction and example how to image God. If these means appointed by God are eliminated, humanity descends into chaos. Hence ‘patriarchy or death’ is not a glib catchphrase. iii
This patriarchal order for discipleship is foundational in the establishment of the church. This is explicit in texts such as Ephesians 5:22-6:1; Colossians 3:20-22; 1 Peter 3:1-7. Yet it is also implicit throughout the Gospels, the book of Acts, and the epistles. For example, consider Paul’s message to the church at Corinth. Adelphoi, the N.T. Greek for “brothers” is how Paul continually addresses the congregation at Corinth. Brothers appears 28 times in 1 Corinthians.ivIt is plural in that it was not written to one person—it was not written to an elder or group of elders, and it was in the masculine. In other words, Paul was writing to all the men in the congregation as the heads of their homes. The information in Paul’s letters was to be taught first, by the head of the home to their families. This is critical to our ecclesiology; fathers are God’s truth transmission mechanism. According to Paul, getting this information to the church was not a function of the pastor or even elders, it was first and foremost the responsibility of each individual man. What Paul commands Timothy in stewarding the truth ought to be true of every Christian man (2 Tim 1:13-14)! How did we lose this?
Any ecclesiology that does not emphasize this reality of instruction by the fathers is flirting with a heretical institutional ecclesiology. Authors David and Paul Watson issue a caution regarding the goal of discipleship: the purpose of discipleship tends to default to undergirding church structure rather than producing mature, obedient disciple-makers.v The Lord’s discipling role for fathers extends beyond perpetuation of the local church. The Holy Scriptures are not mute in describing a father’s role in connection with the doctrine of the church. Only by studying and applying that biblical role are pitfalls avoided. One of the chief consequences of minimalizing the role of fathers is the tarnishing of Christ’s preeminence. How can we safeguard against this error? Answer: the church is to emphasize the importance of each man in representing Christ’s pre-eminence first and foremost in his own heart, then to his wife and children. The Lord intends that a man’s devotion to Christ overflows in leading his family spiritually. Faithful family spiritual leadership widens a man’s spiritual influence to reach church and community. This principle of a widening impact due to faithfulness is known as the principle of the enlarged sphere of influence. This is clearly set forth in the pastoral epistles and is a primary qualification for entrusting men to care for the church of God (1 Tim 3:5). Since the beginning, it is not priests or pastors that are to guarantee reverential fear and generational loyalty to God, but it is fathers:
For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments, and not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God (Ps 78:5-8).
The role of fathers in discipleship was founded at creation.
God’s plan for discipleship through the fathers is not new, for it follows the pattern of creation (Gen I:26-27; 1 Cor 11:8). Thus, it is no surprise to see faithful headship in the family as critical to the spiritual formation of the nation of Israel. For it would be first, through the headship of the man. Second, it would be expansive, beginning in the heart of each man and extending outward. Third, it would be generational.
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deut 6:4-9).
The church’s spiritual formation is established through the same means as it was then, through the nuclear family (Acts 16:30-31; 1 Tim 3:4-5).
The husband and father is to teach the Word of God to His wife and children. He is to assume the role of head of His home with gladness, and he is to enthusiastically rule well (1 Tim 3:5). This includes living the gospel, by sharing the gospel and discipling His family. It is his continuous Godward labor unto Christ his Head (Titus 1:9). A lifestyle of obedience requires Christ’s disciples to make more disciples. The capacity to serve God is stipulated upon a lifestyle of obedience to Christ’s commands. The equipper ought to be able to say, ‘copy my life’ (1 Cor 4:16; 1 Tim 4:12)vi. But what do we see? Most fathers have never led their families in Scriptural instruction. This doesn’t have to be the case. Desiring God Ministries among other resources has excellent material on how fathers can overcome the most common hurdles to leading family devotions.vii https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-can-lead-family-worship.
If the divine plan of the father-led family suffers through neglect, damage from individualism advances.
The church’s spiritual foundation and formation is established through the same means as it was when the book of Deuteronomy was written—through the father’s leadership of the family. More than a thousand years after Moses, Judean exiles left Babylon to return to Palestine. But, for them to produce a God-fearing seed, fathers would have to ‘step up’ in spiritual leadership. That is precisely what took place as recorded in the book of Nehemiah. “Then on the second day the heads of fathers’ households of all the people, the priests and the Levites were gathered to Ezra the scribe that they might gain insight into the words of the law” (Neh 8:13). By way of contrast, what we see in the church today is a much more individualistic approach to spiritual growth and salvation. The way the family unit is viewed today is a byproduct of the culture far more than we realize. There’s a prevalent underappreciation of the centrality of the family in God’s plan for discipleship and instruction in the fear of God. When family instruction by the father has miscarried, it presents a greater challenge to teach the fear of God to adults who never were taught reverence for God as children. Lest we be deceived, there is no genuine spiritual growth without focus on the object of the Great Commission, namely, to teach people to fear God, and to obey His laws, precepts, and commands.viii
Consider that most churches today separate children from their parents for much, if not the entirety of Sunday worship services. In addition, public and private schooling is the predominant education choice for Christian families. Couple that trend with endless sports activities and the priority of entertainment, gaming, and cell phones for children. There is no question that individualism has become the predominant expression in the family. Thus, if individualism holds sway in the family, it stands to reason that it will be inescapable in the church. Individualism is a close relative of consumerism—the individual asks, what is good for me? How will this make me prosperous and happy? This is also manifested in individualistic spirituality in which personal experience trumps relationship. How different is the gospel! States theologian P. T. Forsyth, spiritual experience is not primarily the experience of self, but the experience of a relationship (1 Jn 1:1-3). For, God’s call is the gift of Himself to sinful man. The event of the cross establishes communion with God (Jn 1:12-13). The gospel gives us God as the greatest gift. To give such an unparallelled gift, God Himself must enter history to atone Himself, to set man free for His Lordship.ix
Individualism has marginalized the authority and influence of the father to fulfill his role as unifying head of the family and chief disciple-maker. Not only has this individual approach to life separated children from their fathers, but it has also impacted marriages. Despite living in the wealthiest nation on earth with the highest living standards, and the benefits of unrivaled freedoms, more and more wives and mothers are entering the work force. The intent of this article is not to take a swipe at two-income families, rather it is to inspire the courage needed to examine current trends. As numerous bloggers have pointed out concerning daycare: Do you know what is truly a scam? It is paying someone else to raise your own children while you go to work to pay for them to raise your children. Christian families are divided in their time, thinking, belief systems, and interests more today than in any other point in history. Yet biblically the home exists as an indispensable puzzle piece of the greater community of the local church. The Christian home is a church in miniature, a school in miniature, a community in miniature, and a father-led government in miniature. If that scriptural concept is absent, what do families have to bring to the local church?
Families characterized by individualism bring their own individualistic ethos into the church. It is no wonder that when that family comes to worship on Sundays the church structure then splits that family up into a more individualistic expression. Children are separated from their families at very young ages and placed in age-specific groups. Some, from the time they are in a cradle will spend the entirety of their church life until pre-adulthood separated from the head of their home. What will this produce downstream? Answer, the likelihood of generational repetition. The Deuteronomic pattern so clearly set forth in chapter six is veiled in most churches that follow a more pragmatic and individualistic pattern for disciple-making.
This begs a vital question. How will Christ’s preeminence be evident in a home in which the children have so much separation from their head in home, school, and church? How then is Christ honored when church structures, to say nothing of the home are superimposed upon attendees to accommodate such individuality?
What are some of the negative consequences of an unquestioned individuality invading church culture?
Men lose their “father knows best” status in the family.
Obedience becomes optional for children, for they are given a confused picture of authority. Obedience is reduced to niceness, to a mere courtesy.
Men become passive spectators not the spiritual leaders of their homes.
The God-designed teleology, or goal of the family is disrupted.
The ordo salutis of the family is veiled—in other words the father’s role as evangelist evaporates. The book of Acts demonstrates that more often salvation came through the proclamation of the gospel by the family head.
An end-user mentality becomes normative. Churches adopt a culture that views their role as that of a spiritual patron providing a product. Church becomes a place to receive, or ‘consume’ ministry rather than give it.
The gospel suffers in that men are ill-equipped in gospel fluency. Having not seen themselves as chief disciple-makers in their homes they have little meaningful expression to give in the church.
Women become more assertive, for men have relinquished their calling. Thus, women take on roles that they were never fitted by Christ to assume.
Worship styles drift into more feminine characteristics—i.e. songs become more about feelings and responses instead of the robust masculine doctrinal characteristics pervasive in previous generations.
The gospel itself suffers as the predominant means ordained by Christ to manifest His relationship with His Bride (Jn 17:20-23).
In religious institutions, pragmatism ‘appears to work’ even where the gospel and the Holy Spirit are absent.
That ought to be a terrifying thought. For without vigilance, biblical ecclesiology tends to degrade into practicality. If the way we do church highlights the individual at the expense of the family unit, we may unknowingly be attacking God’s stated truth-transmission mechanism—i.e. the father-led home. Consider that every argument given for the ‘dis-integration’ of families in corporate worship, meetings, teachings etc. is practical and not doctrinal. This busting up of the nuclear family in the church is a function of secular influence and not a legitimate expression of the Word of God. Crass pragmatism posing as the prudent path has always been the covert enemy of biblical ecclesiology.
Our enemy, the devil, is the consummate pragmatist. Satan first attacked God’s order in the family. It is not, but if the family had been designed to operate by a democratic individualism, then Satan with his repertoire of devices, would have opted for another means to derail humanity. Yet, he aimed for the center when he sought to divide the nuclear family. The separation of the woman from her husband and their offspring would soon follow (Gen 3:15). It was Eve’s pragmatic, empirical approach in weighing the serpent’s arguments that led to her deception. “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate. . .” (Gen 3:6).
The devil’s insidious means for destroying salvation through neutralizing paternal proclamation has not changed. He aims for the center, the separation of the head from his family. And if the evil one cannot sever the head through death, divorce, or dereliction, he will seek to distort, neutralize, and nominalize the role of the father.
God forbid that the church should serve as an agent of this marginalization of fathers! The question becomes clear, does our ecclesiology allow room for Satan to slither through the doors of our churches in pursuit of our seed?
Where do we go from here?
Accurate navigation depends upon regular ‘checking of one’s heading’. That will require an honest examination of our ecclesiology in light of Scripture. For the culture has draped the veil of individualism over ecclesiology—the chief symptom being the proportion of homes led by godly fathers grows smaller. Thus, the church’s great task is how to devote itself to empowering dads. But it will require ruthless honesty in diagnosing the root cause of drift. Pragmatism in the church has led to the rejection of Christ’s preeminence manifested through disciple-making fathers.
It's time for a heart-searching tune up of ecclesiology. To do so will require transparency. For our knee-jerk approach on how we do church tends to default in the direction of hyping the latest church program. Yet, the biblical starting point and key puzzle piece to genuine church renewal is the fathers. Their role as disciple-makers is indispensable to a truly biblical ecclesiology. To attempt to empower churches solely by way of dynamic speakers, added short-term missions’ trips, and more children’s ministries is to stray from the biblical doctrine of the church. Where are the Nehemiah’s today who are calling upon fathers to ‘fight’ for their families? “When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: ‘Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses’” (Neh 4:14).
Christ’s last command, make disciple-making disciples ought to be our priority (Mt 28:18-20). It will require that we start where Scripture bids us to start—at fathers exercising discipleship in their families. Without this foundational plank in our doctrine of the church, no expansion of seeker-friendly policies, slick worship teams, or youth programs will revive our ecclesiology. God’s ‘house rules’ are not optional. The only way to become a mature son of God is to become a spiritual father yourself to raise up sons who have learned to image God. But to do so, you yourself must get discipled, submitting to the process of growth.x It is single-minded men who are for Christ and for His Great Commission. They are ‘on mission’, focused. Therefore, they have a gravitas about them, a weightiness as spiritual influencers.
Lord willing, in our next article in this series we will examine the biblical solutions which answer this great need.
End Notes
i Michael Foster & Dominic Tennant, It’s Good to be a Man, pp. 18-19
ii Dr. Peter Jones, “Living in the Land of Blur”
iii Michael Foster, pp. 114-115
iv G. K. Gillespie, Grk, ‘adelphoi’ in, The Englishman’s Greek Concordance, pp. 12-13,
v David L. Watson & Paul D. Watson, Contagious Disciple Making, p. 30
vi Ibid, pp. 48-49
vii www.desiringgod.org
viii Ibid, p. 41
ix James H. Rodgers, The Theology of P. T. Forsyth, pp. 211, 249, 252
x Foster & Tennant, pp. 124-125